You know what? This year went by really fast. And looking back on it, I kind of wish that it hadn't. It was a spectacular year that will always be with me.
It was hard at first, since it seemed like I was starting from the beginning again. I had lost a best friend the year before, and most of my friends had graduated the year before. I had a lot to face, and a lot to learn.
Once I got my foothold though, it was one of the greatest years of my life. I got to become closer to so many people I never thought I would, and it was quite the experience being a leader rather than a follower. It was different.
I still haven't even really processed that I am, in fact, graduating in two days. Wow...two days. It just seems so surreal. It seems...unfinished in a way. I feel like there's still work that needs to be done, and it hasn't fully clicked that I will no longer step into that highschool for classes again. It just feels like any other year after school is finished for the summer.
I learned so much from my teachers this year (well, most of them) and I appreciate all the effort they put into teaching the courses. I wouldn't be where I am today without their encouragement, support, and determination to help me learn. I supposed I am where I am today also because of my family and friends and their support as well, and I will forever be grateful for them.
I also learned that people are important. I mean, yes, I've always known that people are special, but I don't think I really appreciated it until this year. Because I know some really special people. I've learned to cherish them, and to cherish every moment I have with them, because I know the moments don't always last, but that they are spectacular, and I know the memories will always remain.
I've also been able to take part in some of the most wonderful moments of my life, like winning third place in marching band, being part of 'Bye-Bye Birdie,' meet so many great people, take part in Madrigals, direct some shows in Advanced Drama, and play one of the leads in 'The King and I,' and I will always remember those special times.
My relationship with God definitely took at turn this year. After feeling lost for awhile, and alone at times, I learned to completely rely on Him for all of my needs. Things were going good, and then I couldn't decide what to do with my life. I prayed and prayed and prayed, and prayed some more about it, and I would never get an answer. Until finally, my youth pastor suggested journalism, and thereafter, journalism would just keep popping up. My youth pastor mentioned it to me, and then she described an internship opportunity for journalism with Compassion International for college students, and she suggested I write for DEVO magazine, and anyone I talked to about it said they could see me doing journalism or becoming a news reporter so I thought, why not?
Ever since then, I can't say my Faith or relationship with God have been perfect. I've been angry with Him a lot this year, I've been thankful for a lot of things He's done for me this year, I've neglected Him, and I've also tried to spend time with Him. It's been quite the ride. I also know that it will be even harder in college. I won't have my parents here to urge me to go to church in the mornings, and it will seem like I don't have any time to spend reading my Bible or doing some devotions, but, I think I can pull it off. It really grabbed my attention when the college I was visiting had a Methodist Church right across from the campus. It just seemed to perfect. And I know it's up to myself to push myself to make those decisions to study, and pray, and meditate, and just let God rain down on me. And it'll be tough, but I think that if I stay on top of it, I can really pull it off. I'm just hoping I'm right.
And you know, looking back on all that I've been able to accomplish this year, especially since, at the start, I was a complete mess, college doesn't seem like such a scary thing. I mean, I know I need to experience it first before I decide that, but it really doesn't seem as intimidating as it did in the start. I feel like I'm more prepared, since I have a place to go, and that I can accomplish things for myself while I'm there. I know I can gain leadership, and while I'm there, I feel like I'll be able to make the right decisions for myself, and really decide what I want to do in life. I feel like I'm ready.
I have to apologize for taking forever to blog. In fact, I haven't really blogged at all this year, and that's because of a lack of time, and too much commitment to other activities. But seeing as how the summer is now here, I should be posting more often, and probably in much more detail. :)
