Dearest Mother,
I know a lot of people are doing this kind of thing, posting stuff on Facebook, giving their moms little gifts that will make them happy, so yes, I'll be boring, and follow that trend. :)
You pretty much rock my world. You held me in your tummy for nine months, you cared for me when I was a baby, you helped me when I was a toddler, and you're still here for me today whenever I need you. (And Roger and Ross are getting old and 'not coming home' but I know that even though that's the case, they're still going to need you too).
I know I don't tell you every single day how much I appreciate all that you've done for me in my 'growing up' process, but that's what Mother's Day is for, right? So, I just want to say "Thank you." For everything you've done. You've helped raise me to be the person that I am today, and I will be forever greatful for that. Sometimes I regret not telling you every day how much you mean to me, or how much you mean to this family, but I think you know how much you mean to us. And I couldn't put what I'd mean to say to you in words anyways.
So happy Mother's Day, mom! Keep on being the awesome mom you are, because personally, I think you're the greatest one out there. And even though one day, I'll get old, I'll still need you as much as I need you now. And for now I'll end this with an I Love You. I think those three words sum this up pretty nicely, don't you? ;)
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Motivation
Lately, it seems that all my motivation is lost. I feel unfocused in everything I try to think about, I feel worn out, I feel pressure, like I have so much to get done, but I don't want to get anything done.I could just use the excuse that I'm tired, and sure, that could be half the problem...but I don't think that's it.
I feel like if I want to get something done, I have to work ten times as much, and of course, that just wears me down more. And I know a ton of it has to do with stress that is building up, and building up, and building up...but in two weeks, all the hard work will be just about over.
I haven't been able to connect with God for awhile now, and mainly it's because of distractions from all my school activities and projects. And every once and a while I'll think,'Man...I haven't talked to God in awhile.' and it's impossible to do His will if you aren't talking to Him, if you aren't meditating on His word, or learning how to trust Him with everything. So after awhile I shrug and think,'I just don't have the time.' which, is very selfish.
But...it's also true...
I really wish I could sit down for an hour and meditate every day, or read my bible, or talk to God...but I really don't posess that kind of time to give. I can give it to school work, and I can give it to school-related activities...but it doesn't seem very fair that I'm so consumed with work that I can't focus on God. And because of all of this mounting work that I have to do, I just want it to be over, which is why I'm slacking off so much...the end of all this stress is so close yet so far away...
Throughout the day I'll try to remind myself that I need to take some time to pray over things or about things, but it doesn't always happen because there's just SO much going on. If I could have Him literally pat me on the shoulder to get my attention, I'm still not sure of whether or not I would feel that pat right now.
I also realized something else about myself lately: I have been constantly focused on negative things. I have constantly been thinking bad things about people, bad things about myself, and bad things about the future. I'm not looking forward to any of it...but now I realize what I'm doing...and it's so incredibly hard to switch back to looking at everything in a positive way, like I could do before...especially because of the attitudes that I see every day from people...
I feel like everyone is judging me when they look at me, whether they really mean to or not. I feel like everyone can be good to their friends, but they don't really feel they should be good to anyone else. I feel there are too many people who do stupid or harmful things to themselves or to others, and they don't even realize it, or they just flat out don't care. I can think of a few people who actually DO spread their love to others, or extend their friendship to others. It's just really hard to look at things in a positive way, when practically nobody else is. And I know other people shouldn't have to keep me from doing whatever I want, but I'm not sure how many people would BELIEVE the influence that these negative thoughts or feelings have.
I just want to be myself again...I want to have my motivation back...
I feel like if I want to get something done, I have to work ten times as much, and of course, that just wears me down more. And I know a ton of it has to do with stress that is building up, and building up, and building up...but in two weeks, all the hard work will be just about over.
I haven't been able to connect with God for awhile now, and mainly it's because of distractions from all my school activities and projects. And every once and a while I'll think,'Man...I haven't talked to God in awhile.' and it's impossible to do His will if you aren't talking to Him, if you aren't meditating on His word, or learning how to trust Him with everything. So after awhile I shrug and think,'I just don't have the time.' which, is very selfish.
But...it's also true...
I really wish I could sit down for an hour and meditate every day, or read my bible, or talk to God...but I really don't posess that kind of time to give. I can give it to school work, and I can give it to school-related activities...but it doesn't seem very fair that I'm so consumed with work that I can't focus on God. And because of all of this mounting work that I have to do, I just want it to be over, which is why I'm slacking off so much...the end of all this stress is so close yet so far away...
Throughout the day I'll try to remind myself that I need to take some time to pray over things or about things, but it doesn't always happen because there's just SO much going on. If I could have Him literally pat me on the shoulder to get my attention, I'm still not sure of whether or not I would feel that pat right now.
I also realized something else about myself lately: I have been constantly focused on negative things. I have constantly been thinking bad things about people, bad things about myself, and bad things about the future. I'm not looking forward to any of it...but now I realize what I'm doing...and it's so incredibly hard to switch back to looking at everything in a positive way, like I could do before...especially because of the attitudes that I see every day from people...
I feel like everyone is judging me when they look at me, whether they really mean to or not. I feel like everyone can be good to their friends, but they don't really feel they should be good to anyone else. I feel there are too many people who do stupid or harmful things to themselves or to others, and they don't even realize it, or they just flat out don't care. I can think of a few people who actually DO spread their love to others, or extend their friendship to others. It's just really hard to look at things in a positive way, when practically nobody else is. And I know other people shouldn't have to keep me from doing whatever I want, but I'm not sure how many people would BELIEVE the influence that these negative thoughts or feelings have.
I just want to be myself again...I want to have my motivation back...
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
My Favorite Part
I wrote the title of this blog a long while ago. In fact, looking on it now, I'm not really sure what I had in mind for it...but at the time I did, otherwise I wouldn'tve written the title down...
Maybe I was going to comment on the fact that everybody has a favorite part of a movie, or a favorite part when they hang out with friends. I know my favorite parts in movies are when they make me cry, and I love hanging out with my friends, laughing about stupid things that usually only we know about. My favorite part of the day is when the sun goes down and the stars become visible in the night sky. My favorite part is when families can unite and joke around, spread the love. My favorite part is when I can see couples around public areas, holding hands and being adorable. My favorite part is when I get to connect with God and share Him with others. My favorite part is when I can successfully sing a high note in my music piece. My favorite part is when I do my very best to act out another part on the stage in front of people, and feel so good about myself. My favorite part is when I can be myself in front of people, show people who I really am.
But...my absolute favorite part is when I see people, and how they react when they are touched, themselves, by God. It's absolute beauty. There's peace and there's joy overpowering...it's not something that can be put into words by anyone, but anyone can be one to experience it. And it is the most amazing experience in the world. And the greatest part is...the connection with God doesn't stop. It lives forever, and it's making its way around the world.
Maybe I was going to comment on the fact that everybody has a favorite part of a movie, or a favorite part when they hang out with friends. I know my favorite parts in movies are when they make me cry, and I love hanging out with my friends, laughing about stupid things that usually only we know about. My favorite part of the day is when the sun goes down and the stars become visible in the night sky. My favorite part is when families can unite and joke around, spread the love. My favorite part is when I can see couples around public areas, holding hands and being adorable. My favorite part is when I get to connect with God and share Him with others. My favorite part is when I can successfully sing a high note in my music piece. My favorite part is when I do my very best to act out another part on the stage in front of people, and feel so good about myself. My favorite part is when I can be myself in front of people, show people who I really am.
But...my absolute favorite part is when I see people, and how they react when they are touched, themselves, by God. It's absolute beauty. There's peace and there's joy overpowering...it's not something that can be put into words by anyone, but anyone can be one to experience it. And it is the most amazing experience in the world. And the greatest part is...the connection with God doesn't stop. It lives forever, and it's making its way around the world.
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