Family Bonding Time

For me, it's going to Fort Collins not even thirty minutes after school gets out for Christmas Break to see my brother and his girlfriend, and to bring him home. It's my other brother coming home around midnight, and seeing him for maybe two minutes the next morning. It's sitting in a car, goofing off like five-year-olds because we haven't seen each other in so long, and we're filled with such giddiness. It's driving home in terrible snowy weather, but still making it home, and in one piece. It's waking up late in the day and putting up Christmas decorations all over the house, three days before Christmas (we never actually got around to decorating the tree). It's sitting on a couch in the basement watching my brother play The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time all day just because I can. It's listening to Christmas music, eating clementines, watching American Horror Story at 10:00 pm. It's watching Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 after THAT. And it's going to bed late at night, with a huge smile on my face.

How I love the Holidays. :)

Alas, We've Made a Round Trip

As some of you may know, I have had this blog now, for about a year. And I would just like to take a moment to say: "What a year it has been..." There have been ups and downs, lefts and rights...but we've all made it through (I hope.) And it's about time for those New Year Resolutions again.

However, before I get into that, I would like to say "thanks." Without viewers, followers, etc. etc. I would not be blogging today. I thoroughly enjoy the feedback I receive from my viewers, and the encouragement that I get from my friends, family members, etc. etc.
I am being completely honest when I say I never expected to make it to a thousand views, and Lo and behold, the views have been there and beyond. So again, thank you. It wouldn't be possible without you, after all.

Anywhoo...Christmas is in three days (almost two), and it's...exciting I suppose. :P I've gotten to that age when it doesn't really seem to be as...magical, as it once did. Although I do say I can't wait until I can be Santy Claus for my own children...though that can wait. For now.
It's always fun to be able to reunite with the family, decorate the house, the tree, make those last-minute shopping trips to the mall for presents, make cookies, and eat the Christmas 'feast' with the family. They're all good times. And it's always what I look forward to on Christmas. Because those are always the most memorable moments. It's not always the gifts (how cliche, right?). But I'm serious. The things I remember about all my Christmases were staying up really late, anticipating what could appear, or what I might hear. It was waking up at the crack of dawn and then opening the presents in my stocking by my bed, but first discussing with my sister what she got. Then, it's waking up our parents and eating cinammon roles. It's fighting over who gets to wear the Santa hat and pass out all the presents. It's watching A Christmas Story, and hanging out with the family.
There are Christmases, where I'm telling friends what I got, but I can't remember the half of things that were wrapped under the tree, because to me, it's not about the presents. They're nice, yes. They're wonderful. But the best memories, are from the feelings I recieved with all the Christmas 'rituals' I suppose you could call them, but they were nothing planned.
And for me, that's what it will always be about. I suppose when I was younger, it really was about the gifts...but now that I'm older and don't really mind as much about what I should get, I can see clearly that it's not about presents.

We live in such a material world. Sometimes it sickens me. But I know there's nothing I can do to change it. There's nothing anyone could ever do to change it, really. But it's always good to look back on those moments that you love, and hold them close to your heart, rather then get sucked into what people expect you to feel, or how people expect you to react during the Holiday Season. Just enjoy your time with your family, because it really is a special time...

Now how about those New Year Resolutions?

Mine have got to be... 1. Enjoy life- look to the positive things rather than the negative. 2. Relax- Just sit down from time to time and take a few deep breaths before moving on to the next thing. I get so overwhelmed sometimes that I scare myself. 3. Finish at least 10 books- Heck, I may have done that this year, but books are good and I don't want to stop reading. That's probably about all I can think of for myself. But, what about you? What are your New Year Resolutions?

Hectic

Have you ever had a time where everything seems to all be happening at the same time? I'm sure you have... I guess the better question would be ask who hasn't...
Anyway, that's this week for me...but it's not only that, I'm also having a hard time retaining all the information of what's happening so I'm constantly going back and forth between what I'm currently doing, and what needs to be done. It's confusing. And it's mentally draining. And I'm exhausted as it is...I just need a moment to breathe...
It seems like everything this week is consuming me, and that I don't seem to have time to do anything. But the reason I'm not doing anything is because I'm doing everything...

Work in Progress

My latest art project...which is...nowhere near being finished. O.o

Convenient?

Mobile blogging? I'm gonna have to go with, "Yes."

It's a Huge Load

I've been seeing plenty of posts from all the Seniors about College, and how they're nervous to start this new chapter in their lives. It's just...good to know I'm not the only one.
I'm scared of leaving Highschool, a comfortable place that I've been for four years. I'm not ready to make my way to a College, where I won't know most of the people, where I'll be living by myself (or with a dorm buddy!), where I'll be taking classes I've never even heard of, where I'll be learning from professors I've never met in my life, where I'll have to take care of myself...
I'm scared of leaving my friends behind. I'm scared of losing all of the people I love, I'm scared of letting things go that I've been holding on to, to make room for my new life, I'm scared of never seeing my friends from Highschool again, I'm scared of meeting new people, I'm scared of maybe not knowing myself well enough to hang out with people that won't treat me as well as my friends do now.
I'm scared of learning new things. I'm scared of letting go of the comforts of four basic classes and moving on to a broader view of things. I'm scared of learning things I've never learned before, I'm scared of taking classes I've never even heard of before, I'm scared of going into College and taking all the classes that I hate or that they won't be as fun as I expected. I'm scared of graduating College and not having anywhere to go, anywhere to live, anything to learn, anywhere to work, etc.
I'm scared of eventually leaving my family behind. I'm scared of leaving my home and living by myself, I'm scared of not seeing my family every day to lean on for support and comfort when I need it the most, I'm scared of screwing things up and not having any idea how to fix it, and I'm scared of living on my own, when the time comes.
I'm also scared that I won't fit in, anywhere. Right now, I don't have many friends. I know it's mainly because they're the same four people I've known my whole school career, but it's still frightening to think that I could be stuck on my own, that I might not get along with my dormmate, that I'll lose all my friends that I used to have, and I won't be able to make any new ones. I mean, I know I'm kind of over-thinking things...but it's what I do best.

I haven't applied to any Colleges. Mainly because I'm lazy, but I'm also scared that I'll get rejected, and that I won't have a College to go to in the first place. I mean, there has to be at least ONE College that'l accept me, right? I'm scared about money. I've never worked a day in my life, and it's because I have SO much going on, but I'm nervous about getting a job this summer, and having enough to support myself...
I'm scared of not knowing what I want to do with my life.

I'm scared of leaving all of my memories behind.

I'm scared of not being everything that I could potentially be.

I'm scared of being dragged down and taken to a party, where I'll get addicted to something.

I'm scared.

I'm really scared.