I don't know who anyone is anymore...people keep changing, and it's not how I expected them to change at all. I have NO close relations with my friends anymore, because they're all different and I can't seem to understand the things that they choose to do. I've lost three of my closest friends all in the course of the same year. I'm either not nearly as close as I've been to them, or I lost them alltogether. My life is changing, and it's beginning to emotionally take over me. Right now, I need God more than anything...and it's really hard to find him when I have SO many other things that I feel I need to focus on...
I don't want my friends ruining their lives...but with the choices they're making, and the way they've changed, I don't know for sure, that that's NOT a possibility, and that SUCKS. I feel like I should be the one to take control and say,"No! Don't do that!" and they'd magically understand and everything could just go back to the way it was...but I know that it wouldn't help the situation...I've tried...and I've tried...and I've tried...but all they do is push me away. So what am I supposed to do? Leave them there to make those choices for themselves? Well...that's all their letting me do...and I guess if they want to make those choices, then there's nothing I can do about it...and they'll just have to find out the hard way...
It really sucks, knowing that I can be so close to God, yet none of my once-closest friends, won't even take a chance with Him. It also really sucks knowing that I should be the one to show them to God, but they won't accept Him, and maybe that's my fault for not showing Him to them in the right way, or maybe they really just don't want anything to do with Him. Which is also, really upsetting. When my friends tell me about the things they do, I have no idea whether I should yell, fight, cry, or feel sympathy for them...because nothing makes sense when I realize that my friends aren't the people I once thought them to be...because they're all changing.
I want to be there for them, but I know I can't if all I feel is hurt, and confused, when they tell me about the things they've done. I can honestly say I want nothing to do with them...but I also try to remember that people make mistakes, and then it becomes the past...but I don't know how to get it across to them that what they're doing isn't healthy, or smart, or...right for them...
I've been praying...but so far I haven't gotten an answer, and I can't say I'm not getting impatient, because I am...I just don't want their lives to be harder then it has to be...and I really hope that one day they find God...because He's the only one that can fulfill anybody's life...
This much is true. Only God can really fulfill a life. But let me tell you. Sometime the responsibility seems too great to achieve. I want you to know that sometimes there are things that happen in other people's lives that you can't see. You can be the person to plant the seeds and maybe even water them.. but in the end someone else might bring them to Christ.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say, is that if you live your life with love, and kindheartedness, and compassion, and if you are honest with your friends (and tell them that what they're doing is bad for them or wrong) then you are doing the best you can. And even better, you are doing God's will! If you pray and TRUST God to take care of the situations then you are doing what is asked of you. Trust is a tricky thing to understand. Trusting God doesn't mean you let go of your problems and the things that are going on in your life, and expect God to take care of it. Trusting is an act of worship. By giving your problems up to God and not worrying about them, and IN RETURN, you live as a strong Christian, with Christ-like Ideals, then you don't have to worry. Trust is a two-way street. You can do your part (as a strong Christian) and God WILL do the rest. Maybe sometimes you can't see it at work, and sometimes maybe it just doesn't seem like it's happening.
Keep up the faith and TRUST and live, and you can plant those seeds, and you can be used for the purposes that God has for you.