My Life: Take 2

I feel like I'm transformed every day. I'm learning and growing just like everyone else out there, and I'm learning to trust God more, let Him take control of my life because I certainly don't know what I'm doing when I take the lead...
For the longest time, I felt...alone...lost...trapped in the Wilderness. I felt like I was leaning on God but in a way I knew that it felt like I was giving it too much effort, and then I KNEW I wasn't giving everything up to God. I was too focused on giving things up myself, rather than doing it...it kinda defeated the whole purpose in the first place. I felt lost for a really long time...especially after I lost my best friend...but I knew it was just another bump in the road. I had to climb over it eventually.
I prayed to God and I begged to God to tell me what to do, to give me a sign, send me on the right path again...
After awhile (because you can't always get what you want right away), I felt like I should go back to the Friday-night Youthgroup because I knew I could really feel God whenever I was there praying to Him or just lying on my back in worship. The location for the Youthgroup had changed and my friend told me it was moved to a place called 'Joyland' and I thought,"Hmm...Joyland...sounds kind of interesting..." Well, when I went back, the people who were involved were as welcoming as always (which is probably one of the greatest aspects of the Youthgroup...how much love everyone shows for each other) and I continually started going again. While I was there, I really felt like I belonged, like I could talk about whatever to whoever and it would be kept in complete secrecy. I got drunk in the Holy Spirit for the first time and it's the greatest feeling in the world; it's completely overwhelming and it's PURE JOY.
From Youthgroup I was invited to go to Bible study on Saturday, and I thought maybe I would, maybe I wouldn't...
That Saturday, I woke up late, forgetting about the Bible study and I kinda figured I just wouldn't go; I still had to get ready, get directions, etc. But something was tugging at my gut and telling me to go. So, somehow, I pulled myself together and got to the the Bible study on time and it was the first Bible study I had gone to where I actually learned anything. Afterwards, people were talking about going to church and I had been invited before but I'm gonna be honest, I wasn't really interested in going to a different church; I already had one. But I remember I was sitting there thinking I'd probably just go home and do something pointless like watch TV but again, something was nudging me and I specifically remember thinking,"I could go home, or I could worship my Lord." and just at that moment, someone turned to me and asked,"Are you going to Church?" and I replied,"Yeah. I think I am."
I can most definitely say that going to Joyland is such a unique experience every time I go. Every moment is spent with my Saviour, and it's the weekends that I look forward to because of that. I can spend so much time with my God and not feel ashamed of anything, feel accepted, like it's where I belong. I'm not alone. God answered my prayers. I also find it incredible that after I leave Joyland, I can remain happy for endless amounts of time, and the most amazing thing is...I'm always hungry for more.